


What Else Was She Supposed To Do?

by HaleKent



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 10:51:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7681525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaleKent/pseuds/HaleKent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's starts with Jess' phone calls after he leaves to California and continues to after Dean and Rory sleep together. Just some intermixed thoughts and feelings of Rory.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Else Was She Supposed To Do?

Could you imagine all the things Jess wanted to say every time he called Rory? At her graduation, she knew it was him, calling her and not saying anything. She kept hoping that he would say something. ANYTHING. “I’m sorry I left.” “I miss you.” “I’m sorry I’m not good enough for you.” Or even something even as trivial as “I’m sorry about prom,” even though that really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme. He didn’t say it, but she knows that’s what he was thinking. And so she does the only thing she can think of. She rambles. She talks because he won’t. And she says things she doesn’t want to, because she desperately wants him to come back. She tells him to leave her alone, because that’s all she knows to do and she’s leaving for Europe, and it’s breaking her heart to tell him this, and she’s not blind! She saw his bag on the bus. She knows he left, but god.. what else was she supposed to do?

So she goes to Europe with Lorelai and tries not to think of Jess when she sees a book they would have enjoyed reading and talking about, or when she sees a guy with his hair or the color of his eyes, or his sardonic smile. She hates that that’s all she can think of, so she tries so hard to throw herself into anything to stop it. Lorelai doesn’t know what to do, because Rory’s told her everything, except for the last phone call. So, Lorelai does what she can, like make up some insane idea to buy a souvenir for everyone in Stars Hallow. She wants to help Rory forget or at least help not think about him, but Lorelai doesn’t think she’s helping. Whenever Rory’s caught up in a bookstore or sleeping, she calls Luke, asking if he’s seen or heard from Jess. Luke knows better than to lie to her. All he knows is that Jess is in California with his dad. She does what she can, but it’s not enough, but god… what else is she supposed to do?

When Rory finally come back to Stars Hallow, she hopes to see Jess, sitting on her porch, reading some obscure novel he found, waiting for her. She hopes to see him every time she walks into Luke’s or in the bookstore or the video store or at the lake. So when she unexpectedly has to leave early for orientation, she almost forgets that he won’t know where she is, because she knows Luke and Lorelai won’t tell him. 

After she sleeps with Dean, she knows it should’ve been Jess. It was nice, but it wasn’t like what it should’ve been. She doesn’t love Dean like she thought she used to, and she knows she was the other woman. She never thought she would be, and it kills a little bit of her every time she sees Lindsay or hears her name or sees Dean, but it would be even worse if she didn’t stay with him, wouldn’t it? What else was she supposed to do?


End file.
